The other day, I shared something vulnerable on a group coaching call I’m part of. (Let’s be honest… everything feels vulnerable when you’re sharing in a group when you’re an Enneagram Type Nine, right?)
As soon as I shared, though, I found my brain going on a little vacation for about 10–15 seconds while I was being coached.
It was busy checking to make sure I hadn’t sounded too weird… and double-checking that everyone still liked me.
Does your brain dissociate sometimes, too?
What Is Dissociation? (And Is It Always a Trauma Response?)
Dissociation is often a trauma response that stems from past events that felt threatening or overwhelming. It’s your body’s way of protecting you — even though, in the moment, you don’t actually need protection.
It looks like a disconnection from some part of your experience:
- your thoughts
- your emotions
- your body
- your sense of time
- your identity
It’s your nervous system’s way of “checking out” when being fully present feels too overwhelming, threatening, or painful.
But here’s the thing: dissociation isn’t always a trauma response.
It can also happen in non-traumatic situations, like:
- Daydreaming during a boring meeting
- Zoning out while driving a familiar route (hello, highway hypnosis)
- Spacing out when you’re overtired or overstimulated
- Getting lost in a good book or movie
- Mild stress, when the brain just needs a short break
Those forms of dissociation are normal and harmless — as long as you can come back to yourself easily.
How to Spot Subtle Signs of Dissociation
Here are some gentle cues that you might be dissociating:
1. You feel foggy or “floaty.”
It’s that vague sense that life is happening around you, not with you. You’re there… but not quite there.
2. You’re suddenly unsure what you feel, want, or need.
A moment ago, you were fine. Now? Someone asks what you want for dinner, and you honestly have no clue. (Classic Nine move, right?)
3. You lose chunks of time without a clear memory.
Not like a blackout. More like an hour (or an afternoon) passed and you realize you were “just… kind of… there.”
4. You feel like you’re watching yourself from the outside.
Almost like you’re a character playing a role, not truly inhabiting your own life.
5. You emotionally “go blank” during stress.
Instead of anger, sadness, or anxiety, you feel… nothing. You stay polite and present, but inside, you’ve shut down.
6. You default to autopilot behaviors.
Like scrolling, snacking, binge-watching, or even over-sleeping — without consciously choosing to do those things.
7. You minimize your own needs.
You catch yourself thinking, “It doesn’t matter” or “It’s fine” even when, deep down, it does matter.
8. Your body feels disconnected or numb.
You might notice stiff shoulders, shallow breathing, or a sense that you’re physically “checked out.”
9. You suddenly want a snack or to scroll your phone.
When discomfort shows up, do you find yourself reaching for your favorite numbing habit without thinking? That’s dissociation, too.
When to Seek Support (And What Helps)
If dissociation feels occasional, mild, and you can reconnect quickly, it’s probably just normal brain behavior.
If it feels frequent, intense, or you find it hard to return to feeling grounded and connected, trauma (past or present) might be part of the story. A body-based therapy or trauma-informed coach can help.
Either way — noticing it without judgment is key. Awareness opens the door to healing, whether you need trauma support or just gentler rhythms in your life.
How I Personally Re-Enter My Body
I’m getting better and better at recognizing when I’m dissociating. And the reason it’s helpful is because I can regulate my nervous system much quicker and re-enter what’s going on around me.
Here’s what I do:
- Pause and breathe. A few deep breaths go a long way.
- Get curious about what’s happening in my body. Where do I feel tightness? Numbness? What sensations are here?
- Gently re-engage. Sometimes that’s all I need to re-enter.
I hope this helps you extend a little more self-compassion toward yourself, if anything. 💛
With you,
Heather
