Heather Fillmore Coaching

The Enneagram Nine Childhood Wound

I remember as a child feeling like I could disappear and no one would notice for a long time.

Do you remember any similar thoughts or feelings?

Childhood wounds are different depending on your Enneagram type. When you learn about them, they help you put pieces of your personality together.

So, what is an Enneagram Childhood Wound?

It’s a hurt that every person experiences as children that shapes their personality and the way they show up as they grow older.

Kids don’t understand why grownups don’t know how to meet all their emotional needs. So they develop adaptive strategies from this place of pain.

Every Enneagram type has a different wound unique to the trauma they experienced as children. This trauma can be minor and only happen because of the perceptions of the child, or it can be significant.

This trauma ends up creating specific characteristics and self-defeating beliefs.

The Type Nine’s childhood wound happened because they sensed that they weren’t being noticed by their authority figures. Even though most Nines feel deeply connected to their caregivers as children, somehow they start believing that they can keep the peace by not asserting themselves.

Nines start believing that it’s best to keep themselves quiet and uninvolved. This causes them to eventually fall asleep to their own feelings and needs. Their easy, go-with-the-flow, peacemaker demeanor often comes from believing their presence isn’t important. They lower their expectations of themselves and others to avoid disappointment.

If nothing is important to you, then your chances of being let down decrease.

Here’s how to heal your Enneagram Nine Childhood Wound:

1) Adopt new ways of thinking about your value and worth. The first step is to start simply noticing yourself throughout the day and acknowledging to yourself your very existence in the world: “There I am“ is a good phrase to repeat often.

2) Practice sharing your opinions whenever you get the chance.

3) Be accountable to someone you trust. A therapist or coach can be a great option.

With intentional work, humility, and help, all people can heal from their childhood wounding messages.

Healthy Enneagram 9s understand that their sense of peace doesn’t come at the expense of their self-worth. They can involve themselves instead of letting life drift by.

Much of this healing can take place in a group coaching environment. As you listen to other people who have the same wounding receive coaching, you can easily apply it to yourself.

Come join a supportive community of Enneagram Type 9s at The Bold Nine Academy today! I would love to help you feel like YOU again.


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