“One of the bravest and most compassionate things we can do is to look directly into the face of someone else’s pain and not turn away.” Dr. Barbara De Angelis
I love this quote and I also like to add myself to the list of people from whom I will not turn away. As a Nine, when I experience pain and heartache, it is so easy to try and brush it aside and not feel it. It just feels like too much of a disruption to my peace. Can you relate? But one of the most powerful things we can do for ourselves is to look the pain we are facing right in the eyes. To just let it be there. To recognize it for what it is. To give it a voice and be willing to sit with it.
Learn to Feel Pain
Mourn with those who mourn does not mean only mourning with other people. It means to mourn with ourselves.And when we do, we feel human pain.
But, we also become better friends, partners, and parents because we have practiced holding space for another person’s pain. We don’t feel the need to hurry and jump to trying to fix things, or show them the bright side of things by saying, “at least…”
We learn to be patient and just observe how we’re creating our pain with our thoughts and just stay there for as long as we need to.
Some of my most powerful work as a coach is done in this space. Just letting my clients hang out right where they are, without trying to move to a thought that might be more useful. What would mourning with yourself look like? Decide now so when you need to mourn, you are ready.
If you feel like there are certain things in your life that you just can’t make yourself “stay” with, The Bold Nine Academy may be exactly what you need. Come get help with your toughest challenge. I help Peacemakers like you to accelerate their growth and enjoy their lives on a much deeper level.
