Heather Fillmore Coaching

Do This When you Want to Feel Confident in a Moment

I know that one of the biggest concepts that I teach in my Enneagram 9 Coaching space is that our thoughts are what create our emotions. And that is true.n nBut here’s the rest of the story…

So do our bodies…from the memorized experiences that they have gone through. So, when we’re in an interaction with someone where we suddenly get thrown off and we feel small and we’re not able to use our brains to come up with the response that we want to, we can’t just think confident thoughts and all of a sudden feel confident. There’s something that needs to happen first. It’s an energetic shift. And the way we create that is by “centering” ourselves in that moment. You see, our egos (or personalities) have created strategies to keep us safe from possible rejection (the ultimate threat for us Enneagram Nines.) And these strategies take a LOT of effort to maintain. So, when low-grade threats happen (for example, a text or email from someone or an invitation to share our opinion or talk about something that might create conflict or rejection) our systems go to work to maintain that ego and they aren’t free for thinking things through or being resilient. We’re too busy just trying to keep it together! So we want to practice and get really good at centering in the moment. This moves us into a state of flow, where inspiration is coming through us. Where we aren’t just trying to stay safe. When we are centered, we have a feeling in our body that feels like, “We’re in this together.” Instead of “It’s me vs. them.” In this context, center isn’t necessarily a place in our body. It’s more of a state of being. Keep in mind that no one, not even people who meditate for hours a day, stay in this state of being all the time. We all get thrown off from center many times each day. But we want to be able to quickly move from our reactive (or in our case, escaping or passive-aggressive) selves to our centered selves when things happen. We want to get to a more resourceful place, where our brains can be creative, inclusive and innovative. As Nines, this is how we learn to take a stand or even just engage in life without avoiding or reacting in a way that we later regret. This week, I recorded a 10-minute video from my phone that teaches you the way that I do this. I’m telling you, it has been a game-changer for me, especially when I have to be in front of people. Here is the video. Try to watch it while standing or sitting, so you can practice doing it with me.


Here’s to CONFIDENCE! Check out The Bold Nine Academy to see how I can help!


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