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Heather Fillmore Coaching

5 Things to Stop Apologizing for as an Enneagram 9

For many Enneagram Nines, saying “sorry,” especially when we’re not at fault, may simply be an involuntary reaction.

We just want to be polite.

We just want to avoid any conflict that might happen.

We just want to maintain our role as Enneagram Nine Peacemakers.

We also do it because we’re concerned about what other people think about us.

The problem with over-apologizing is that it shows that you subconsciously seek reassurance.

It also sends a message to the other person that can undermine the validity of your statements or implies that you lack confidence in expressing yourself or asserting your own needs. n

We don’t want that. It’s just not helpful.

Here are 5 things to quit apologizing for as a Nine:

#1 Getting Emotional

It’s ok if people see you cry. It doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means that you’re real.

Breathe relaxation into your throat when you feel the tears coming. Open the dam and let them flow.

#2 Asking for Help

You are not a burden. Most people will just be grateful that you asked because they never really know what you need.

Let them help. It will bless them.

#3 Not knowing what you want to choose.

People can wait. Let them feel anxious.

#4 Saying “no” to things that overwhelm you.

Your needs are just as important as everyone else’s. Honor you by honoring your needs.

and finally

#5 Existing

Your presence matters. Period.

Nothing you achieve will make you matter more. No mistake you make, no laziness, no lack of passion will make you matter less.

Never forget that.

Do you know what it feels like in your body to unapologetically take up space? Can you:

Share an opposing opinion, take someone’s time, get in the way, cry, take a while to find words, or accept help? Can you allow yourself to soak in the feeling of taking space? Turn this potential weakness of yours into a STRENGTH as you become a more BOLD Enneagram Nine!

If any of this is challenging for youI can HELP!!

This is exactly what we learn and practice at The Bold Nine Academy!

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